Cameroon: Opposition outsources the destruction of the CPDM to COVID-19 ⁰

When the Coronavirus started spreading across the globe, nobody ever thought it would become a political weapon of mass destruction.

In Cameroon, the insidious virus was seen as something that could disrupt people’s life and faithful to their naivety, most Cameroonians thought the virus was just a fleeting problem that was limited to Western countries because of the biting cold that makes life miserable in those countries.

As the weeks and months went by, it became clear that the virus was all over the world and that it had come to stay.

As the virus swept through Europe and North America, ridding the world of old people who were still hanging on to life, as well as obese and immuno-compromised people, it became clear that it could help to cleanse Cameroon of the lazy, sick and senile politicians in Cameroon who are more of a liability to the country.

The country’s opposition parties, which are replete with young and healthy youths, have always been thinking of how to rid the country of the ruling party which is a refuge for corrupt, greedy and immuno-compromised politicians who see their party and the state as their ATM which they can use to hang on to life at the expense of the taxpayer.

For close to forty years, the CPDM has monopolized political power and has been effective and efficient at rigging elections. The country’s president, Paul Biya, has lost every election and sometimes even in his own village.

The country’s Parliament is replete with a bunch of illiterates who know nothing about law-making, but are sitting in parliament today because of their affiliation to the ruling crime syndicate that has worked very hard to institutionalize corruption.

The country’s economy has been run aground by the ruling criminal enterprise and this is hurting Cameroonians so bad to the extent where most young Cameroonians are permanently looking outward.

They want to leave their country due to their anger and frustration against the CPDM criminal enterprise led by Mr. Paul Biya. Their country holds out no hope for them. The country is simply ruled by their “living ancestors” who should not be anywhere close to the corridors of power,  but are in no rush to yield the saddle to young people.

While it has been challenging to kick out these crooks out of power via the ballot boxes, the country’s political opposition is now engaged in serious prayers, calling on the Coronavirus to cleanse the Augean Stable manufactured by Mr. Biya and his group of ‘political rats.’

News that the virus is merciless when it attacks ailing old people has been good music to the ears of the youthful political opposition.

The ruling CPDM is not only packed with old people, it is replete with old and immuno-compromised ‘living ancestors’ who want to empty State coffers before they leave this world.

The virus has been very slow at cleansing the political arena, but it has finally gotten into higher gear. In a rear and deadly alliance with other diseases, it has started sweeping the political stage as CPDM stalwarts are already dropping like flies.

Speaking to the Cameroon Concord News Group correspondent in Bamenda, a youthful Social Democratic Front (SDF) party official clearly expressed his joy that the CPDM, considered as a colony of diseases, was being torn down by an invisible enemy.

He pointed to the death of Member of Parliament, Emilia Lifaka  Monjowa, who last week organized a COVID-19 super-spreader event which has sent her to a local mortuary in Buea.

The SDF stalwart said Ms. Lifaka was aware that the virus could mangle her, especially as her body was a conference center for diseases such diabetes, asthma, cardiovascular disorders  and chronic obesity.

He pointed out that her death has left many who attended that super-spreader event in fear, especially as most of them were women of size and were rich in distended butts and stomachs which have been serving as storages of food and drinks.

He stressed that there was panic in Yaounde, especially at the national assembly where many Members of Parliament are hosting diabetes and high blood pressure.

He reiterated that stress was killing CPDM parliamentarians as most of them know they do not deserve their positions. Many of them had to bribe their way to the Parliament. The financial hardship of the past has weaken most of them and many are yet to pay off the debt they contracted just to secure a place in the current Parliament.

News of the death of their party members has left many worried. They have been losing sleep and they know the virus will not be going away anytime soon.

For the men, their diabetes was already a huge problem in their bedrooms, but the arrival of the Coronavirus has caused their erectile dysfunction to be full-blown.

Below is a list of those CPDM members who could not stand the presence of the virus and their demise is a constant reminder to those who harbor those deadly diseases that facilitate things for the virus. Those who are a little healthy now have sex with their side-chicks with masks over their faces.

Pictures of a CPDM stalwart having sex with a mask on have landed in our London office and this story will make a good read and will be the subject of the next editorial.

Edmond Félix Etoundi was the Chief Executive Officer of Finexs S.A., one of the largest intercity transport companies in Cameroon. He leaves behind a rich CPDM heritage that reveals a fantastic Biya regime success story of a self-made man.

Garga Alim Hayatou, Secretary of State to the Minister of Public Health responsible for the fight against Epidemics and Pandemics and Lamido of Garoua was brought down by the coronavirus.

Monkam Pascal, an industrialist, a businessman. He had a special attachment to the Biya regime and the Cameroon’s corrupt institutions.

Martin Aristide Okouda, the former Minister of Public Works, died on Friday 9 April 2021 in France. Aged 70

Chief Mukete, former traditional ruler of the Bafaws

Gervais Mendo Ze, Former cabinet minister and general manager of the Cameroon Radio and Television (CRTV) died after he was released from the Kondengui Maximum Security Prison.

Princess Rabiatou Mamboune Njoya, sister of the Sultan of Bamoun, Ibrahim Mbombo Njoya, died on 9 April 2021,

Gargoum Adoum Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs,

Alim Boukaro Business tycoon

Essomba Pierre, Secretary General at the Ministry of Territorial Administration

Hon. Emilia Monjowa Lifaka, Vice President National Assembly

Beatrice Elom, Vice President of Transparency International-Cameroon.

By Soter Tarh Agbaw-Ebai