25, April 2021
Cameroon: Opposition outsources the destruction of the CPDM to COVID-19 0
When the Coronavirus started spreading across the globe, nobody ever thought it would become a political weapon of mass destruction.
In Cameroon, the insidious virus was seen as something that could disrupt people’s life and faithful to their naivety, most Cameroonians thought the virus was just a fleeting problem that was limited to Western countries because of the biting cold that makes life miserable in those countries.
As the weeks and months went by, it became clear that the virus was all over the world and that it had come to stay.
As the virus swept through Europe and North America, ridding the world of old people who were still hanging on to life, as well as obese and immuno-compromised people, it became clear that it could help to cleanse Cameroon of the lazy, sick and senile politicians in Cameroon who are more of a liability to the country.
The country’s opposition parties, which are replete with young and healthy youths, have always been thinking of how to rid the country of the ruling party which is a refuge for corrupt, greedy and immuno-compromised politicians who see their party and the state as their ATM which they can use to hang on to life at the expense of the taxpayer.
For close to forty years, the CPDM has monopolized political power and has been effective and efficient at rigging elections. The country’s president, Paul Biya, has lost every election and sometimes even in his own village.
The country’s Parliament is replete with a bunch of illiterates who know nothing about law-making, but are sitting in parliament today because of their affiliation to the ruling crime syndicate that has worked very hard to institutionalize corruption.
The country’s economy has been run aground by the ruling criminal enterprise and this is hurting Cameroonians so bad to the extent where most young Cameroonians are permanently looking outward.
They want to leave their country due to their anger and frustration against the CPDM criminal enterprise led by Mr. Paul Biya. Their country holds out no hope for them. The country is simply ruled by their “living ancestors” who should not be anywhere close to the corridors of power, but are in no rush to yield the saddle to young people.
While it has been challenging to kick out these crooks out of power via the ballot boxes, the country’s political opposition is now engaged in serious prayers, calling on the Coronavirus to cleanse the Augean Stable manufactured by Mr. Biya and his group of ‘political rats.’
News that the virus is merciless when it attacks ailing old people has been good music to the ears of the youthful political opposition.
The ruling CPDM is not only packed with old people, it is replete with old and immuno-compromised ‘living ancestors’ who want to empty State coffers before they leave this world.
The virus has been very slow at cleansing the political arena, but it has finally gotten into higher gear. In a rear and deadly alliance with other diseases, it has started sweeping the political stage as CPDM stalwarts are already dropping like flies.
Speaking to the Cameroon Concord News Group correspondent in Bamenda, a youthful Social Democratic Front (SDF) party official clearly expressed his joy that the CPDM, considered as a colony of diseases, was being torn down by an invisible enemy.
He pointed to the death of Member of Parliament, Emilia Lifaka Monjowa, who last week organized a COVID-19 super-spreader event which has sent her to a local mortuary in Buea.
The SDF stalwart said Ms. Lifaka was aware that the virus could mangle her, especially as her body was a conference center for diseases such diabetes, asthma, cardiovascular disorders and chronic obesity.
He pointed out that her death has left many who attended that super-spreader event in fear, especially as most of them were women of size and were rich in distended butts and stomachs which have been serving as storages of food and drinks.
He stressed that there was panic in Yaounde, especially at the national assembly where many Members of Parliament are hosting diabetes and high blood pressure.
He reiterated that stress was killing CPDM parliamentarians as most of them know they do not deserve their positions. Many of them had to bribe their way to the Parliament. The financial hardship of the past has weaken most of them and many are yet to pay off the debt they contracted just to secure a place in the current Parliament.
News of the death of their party members has left many worried. They have been losing sleep and they know the virus will not be going away anytime soon.
For the men, their diabetes was already a huge problem in their bedrooms, but the arrival of the Coronavirus has caused their erectile dysfunction to be full-blown.
Below is a list of those CPDM members who could not stand the presence of the virus and their demise is a constant reminder to those who harbor those deadly diseases that facilitate things for the virus. Those who are a little healthy now have sex with their side-chicks with masks over their faces.
Pictures of a CPDM stalwart having sex with a mask on have landed in our London office and this story will make a good read and will be the subject of the next editorial.
Edmond Félix Etoundi was the Chief Executive Officer of Finexs S.A., one of the largest intercity transport companies in Cameroon. He leaves behind a rich CPDM heritage that reveals a fantastic Biya regime success story of a self-made man.
Garga Alim Hayatou, Secretary of State to the Minister of Public Health responsible for the fight against Epidemics and Pandemics and Lamido of Garoua was brought down by the coronavirus.
Monkam Pascal, an industrialist, a businessman. He had a special attachment to the Biya regime and the Cameroon’s corrupt institutions.
Martin Aristide Okouda, the former Minister of Public Works, died on Friday 9 April 2021 in France. Aged 70
Chief Mukete, former traditional ruler of the Bafaws
Gervais Mendo Ze, Former cabinet minister and general manager of the Cameroon Radio and Television (CRTV) died after he was released from the Kondengui Maximum Security Prison.
Princess Rabiatou Mamboune Njoya, sister of the Sultan of Bamoun, Ibrahim Mbombo Njoya, died on 9 April 2021,
Gargoum Adoum Deputy Minister of Foreign Affairs,
Alim Boukaro Business tycoon
Essomba Pierre, Secretary General at the Ministry of Territorial Administration
Hon. Emilia Monjowa Lifaka, Vice President National Assembly
Beatrice Elom, Vice President of Transparency International-Cameroon.
By Soter Tarh Agbaw-Ebai
27, April 2021
Cameroon and Covid-19: Hon. Emilia Lifaka was a super-spreader 0
You would think a law-maker’s role is more than just making laws. In civilized societies, a genuine law-maker is supposed to be a role model.
But Emilia Lifaka who had been a law-maker for years was not a role model with regard to the COVID-19 pandemic that has killed millions around the world.
Ms. Lifaka has successfully imported the South African and UK variants of the virus to Cameroon’s Southwest region through recklessness and irresponsibility.
The (dis)honorable member of the house had left Yaounde with clear symptoms of the insidious virus for the Southwest.
While in Yaounde, she had developed a fever, fatigue and body aches, but she decided to return to Buea to organize a huge birthday party, with many guests coming from many African countries.
In an era where COVID-19 makes the rules and actually plays God, Lifaka should have known that when certain symptoms show up, the victim should immediately sick medical attention and should head to the COVID-19 testing center to confirm or disconfirm any fears.
But she instead headed to Buea and concluded that her headaches and fatigue were just symptoms of a normal health situation that would go away with ordinary medication.
After a few days of rest, she proceeded with her plans to organize her birthday party which was mostly attended by women of size who had indeed made reckless eating and drinking the purpose of their being.
Since humans have learned how to check some of the COVID-19 symptoms, the virus has also learned how to mutate and disguise once it takes hold of the victim’s respiratory track.
The Lifaka birthday party was well attended. For many people, it was a status symbol and many guests at the party had been heard boasting that they were the select few and those who really mattered.
A few days after the continental super-spreader event, Emilia Lifaka Monjowa took ill again. Once more, she put her health issue down to fatigue because of the alcohol abuse that took place at the party.
Her party was not supposed to have held. She herself was a colony of diseases and the virus has a special bone to pick with people of size, especially those who are morbidly obese like her.
Deceived by her false notion of fatigue, Lifaka thought a good rest and a sound sleep could help her recover easily. She was blissfully unaware that the virus had taken control of her lungs and it was seeking to trigger a heart attack.
It was until she started suffering from shortness of breathe and acute aches that Emilia Lifaka felt it was necessary for her to go to the regional hospital in Buea.
Her trip to the hospital was unfortunately a one-way ticket to the Buea regional hospital mortuary.
The spirits of the Coronavirus are known to take a man’s life after midnight, and that was when MP Emilia Lifaka Monjowa died.
A few supporters of hers decided that her body be brought to her palace so that mourners could show up and cry, but that plan fell flat on its face.
She might have pulled a crowd while alive, but she failed to understand that the crowd came whenever she had an event because of hunger and the need to feel important. On this occasion, nobody went to her home despite calls by her supporters.
The cat was out of the bag. Emilia Lifaka had died of COVID-19 and nobody really wanted to follow her to a world where not much is known. She might have been a speaker here on earth, but nobody knows if she will be one in the world beyond.
She was only useful while alive. The crowd in Buea simply told her few supporters that she only mattered when she was alive.
Her recklessness must be condemned. It has left many in thoughts. Those who came out of the region and country have continued spreading the dangerous variants she brought to the Southwest region.
She failed to listen. Above all, she failed to understand that she was part of that vulnerable group that really needed to be careful. At 62, she knew if caught in a battle with the virus, she actually stood no chance. She was morbidly diabetic, chronically obese and she had a long history of heart and respiratory problems. It was preposterous of her to throw caution to the wind and to organize such a super-spreader.
While it is painful to lose her, it must be remembered that she made wrong choices and decisions. Because of that the epitaph on her tombstone will read as follows: HERE LIES A LAW-MAKER WHO THREW CAUTION TO THE WIND AND ENDED UP IN AN EARLY GRAVE. May her soul rest in peace!
By Soter Tarh Agbaw-Ebai