Yaoundé: Biya creates jobs for his entourage! ⁰

Cameroon’s ailing President Paul Biya, has created jobs for members of his entourage without following proper procedures.

The almost 92-year-old Biya, who has opted to humiliate himself all over the world, has transformed all those around him into caregivers and emergency workers without seeking their opinion.

For many years now, Chantal Biya, the country’s first lady, has been doubling as a professional caregiver. She has developed great care giving skills, which have caused many observers to conclude that she might be preparing to move to the United States to serve as a caregiver since such a skill is in great demand and highly lucrative in the US.

For Samuel Mvondo Ayolo, the director of cabinet at the presidency, moonlighting as a prop to the crumbling 92-year-old Biya has given him much money as he has to work longer hours these days, especially as Mr. Biya is out of the country.

The chief of state protocol, Simon Pierre Bikele, also has a lot on his plate. He has been running all over the place like someone suffering from diarrhea to ensure that cameras do not capture some of the ugly moments when members of Biya’s entourage are doing their second jobs.

It is alleged that Mvondo Ayolo is already complaining of a broken shoulder given that he has to constantly carry the 110 kg heavy Biya whose legs can no longer help him stand upright.

Chantal Biya has continued putting on a brave face but having to change those diapers is already taking a toll on her. It is alleged that she too sometimes grumbles about her job as a caregiver, but many insiders hold that she deserves her fate having unjustifiably benefitted from the chaos Mr. Biya has created in Cameroon.

Speaking to the Cameroon Concord News Group editor-in-chief recently, a senior staff at the presidency hinted that the Unity Palace had actually been transformed into a health facility, adding that what the public is seeing in Paris is just the tip of the iceberg.

“We are sick and tired of this unpalatable drama which Biya and his entourage are staging on a global stage. At almost 92, Biya is completely finished. The level of incontinence is humiliating and diapers cannot stand such a heavy duty,” our source at the Unity Palace said.

“It is not only Biya who is a comedian. At the Senate, Niat is dealing with similar problems and his entourage is already tired. Members of his entourage know that if Niat dies, he might die with their jobs but they think he is better dead than alive,” the angry CPDM member said.

“Even Niat’s assistants have been pinned down by serious illnesses which are not allowing them to be effective. The second vice president at the Senat, George Tabetando, is screaming in pain in his Yaoundé residence as a prostrate problem is robbing him of his happiness. Cavaye Yegue Djibril of the National Assembly now breathes like an old heavy-duty truck whose engine is falling apart.  They are all very sick but yielding the floor to younger people is not on their agenda. Cameroonians must find away to put an end to this crazy drama,” he concluded.

Meanwhile inside sources at the Presidency say that some CPDM members are insisting that those who are calling on Mr. Biya to run in next year’s presidential elections should be redeployed to the presidency for them to see how expired the president is. He has lost his cognitive qualities and the energy is gone. If they join the odd job crew, they will reconsider their ideas. Biya is a difficult job and no one needs such a tasking job now, a source said.

“Cameroon will be a better place without Biya. His continuous presence at the helm will only imply that things will get worse, and, by so doing, strengthening the wave of brain drain that is robbing the country of its youths,” a CPDM militant said angrily.

By Soter Tarh Agbaw-Ebai